Tuesday, January 19, 2016

Virging Nesters at the Couger Lair



THE NEST   PALM SPRINGS CALIFORNIA
After all the outrageous reviews we heard about the Nest  we had to check out this legendary Palm Springs bar our selves. We arrived at 5 pm to take advantage of the happy hour specials.

We followed a grandmother and young kid to the front entrance and wondered wtf was going on.This was supposed to be  the primo pick-up bar in the Palm Springs area .Ah  they were going to the adjacent restaurant next to the Nest. We entered the bar and found a tavern like setting not the plush country club lounge scene we expected. that was ok ,there was a large piano and sound system stage facing the bar and the place was fully staffed waiting for action. The bar was almost empty but most of the seats near the bar and around the piano had reserved signs  This was the calm before the storm  We grabbed 2 seats near the piano facing the bar and were promptly greeted by our waitress Rosalie. We told her it was our first time at the Nest. "Ah...virgin nesters " "You guys have great seats'  What she really meant


( you better order lots of drinks and tip good )  She explained the happy hour specials like a hooker pricing her services to a John.  ( I'am only guessing ) Rosalie looked like a drag queen ready to get on stage. This babe was dripping in make-up and told us she had been around forever Yep! We had read about Rosalie from Reviews of the Nest on the internet. ( we love investigating the hell out of places before committing our limited resources ) Rosalie would be our guide, she would make our first time gentle and  painless. We ordered a Bloody Mary and a Cosmos which Rosalie said she would " do for us " at the happy hour price . My bloody Mary was  delicious , Cuda said here cosmos was OK. We put off ordering  our apppies and  I told Rosalie we might be here until closing She hesitated for a second probably doing a quick mental calculation what the financial repercussions might be on her take
that night if 2 early arrivals  hogged 2 prime seats for the rest of the night, Clearly the bar would prefer to flush out the cheap happy hour crowd before the heavy hitters and regulars arrived. Rosalie told us that Virgin nesters rarely closed the place ( was this a  subtle hint?)  She said we could get our picture up on the wall with all the celebs if  I carried out my boast . ( did she know something I didn’t ) The place was slowly filling up . Rosalie said it would be filled up by 7pm with a line-up starting out side. Were we ready to order our food yet?... No ..but that Bloody Mary tastes like another one " You got it honey, and another Cosmo for your lady to ?" The owner a tall blonde woman  was adjusting the lighting to prepare for her husband to take the stage and start in on the piano routine. This  lady had definitely not shorted herself on cosmetic surgery and botox. The players were starting to roll in. Grandpa came in flashing a young  tanned blonde in leopard pants. He headed straight to the center of the bar for maximum 
exposure. A gaudily  dressed young cougar was forced to sit behind us  in a corner seat as all the good spots were now taken. She wasn't liking it.. she knew she was in Siberia, A silver fox  Seated himself at the corner of the bar , this guy had a good hunting spot. Heads were snapping around doing inventory of the "meat market"  No saber tooth tigers yet( AKA old cougars )  but the night was young.  This place definitely catered to the over 60 crowd and my young looking sweetie fit the bill as a "trophy wife" . The room was full of denture crème and hair dye. I didn't use the men's room but I'am sure viagra vending machines lined the wall We finally ordered our appies, escargot and stuffed artichokes with a bottle of house Chianti wine.  The appies were OK I expected the snails to be bigger for for $15 a plate We fell for the cheesy upsell of $ 3 garlic bread for the escargot which should have come with it free. I thought they usually try to rip you off on expensive mineral water. Bad Rosalie!The piano guy was right beside us Cuda was 
 enjoying the tunes, The Cougar behind us got up and walked out leaving a full drink at her table. Did her date not show up or had we taken her favorite seat? We decided to call it a night after we finished our wine ( or it would be a  40 dollar taxi home.) Rosalie brought our bill to the table. I told her I would take care of it in a while. People were now being put in a waiting line-up to be seated There seemed to be a few skirmishes with customers and staff about reserved seating. We were occupying valuable real estate.  My wallet was sealed . We were nursing the last half of our bottle
of wine. Suddenly I was tapped on the shoulder by a very large man in a black suit. With his earpiece and close cropped hair he resembled a secret service agent . Was Obama crashing our party Who invited that clown! "Sir it appears you and your wife have had too much to drink can I call you a cab?" " No ,were leaving any way" I replied. We had out stayed our welcome at the Nest.  Rosalie wasn't going to let us put a dent in the $500  in tips she expected to make  that night.  Too bad we would miss the main show tonight. I hope the bouncer gets food poisoning and craps his pants.






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