Saturday, September 24, 2011

The $1000 Feast

Day 1
3pm.We checked into our Super 8 Motel next to the set for Trailer Park Boys. This one of the scariest 

trailer parks I've ever seen. Some of these ugly suckers would make our old bruised 5'th wheel look like a class a motor home Can't wait to see some of the trailer critters come of their cages.Cuda is on her new I-pad planning a pub crawl itinerary for this afternoon.Shark is recovering from the excesses of the previous night waiting for the caffeine to kick in.Shark will also not be smiling too much for the next 3 days due to a front capped tooth deciding to break off just before the trip, My mouth is a friggin money pit.Were off to a Victoria walk-about and some oysters I think.
DAY 2
5am.Early morning habits stick with you even on holidays.A big day of wine tasting ahead for us in the Cowichan Valley.But first a review of day 1
Yesterday our walk-about in Victoria started at the Executive Hotel Bar and Seafood Ceasar cocktails. This place has always been a favorite of ours when visiting Victoria and we remembered the prawn double Caesar hang-over killers we indulged in on many past trips before heading back on the ferry, They were even better  this time with a mussel hanging onto the glass next to the prawns and spicy beans. A second wind launched us into the  downtown core. Victoria is a great walking city,full of eklectric shops squeezed into old buildings and alleys. A blend of crusty locals, well healed tourists, spiced up with some derilict youth and destitute bums made a tasty stew of humanity. We found our first cigar shop  off the main tourist beat and were rewarded with some reasonably priced Cuban Upmann petit coronas and Mexican El Torito robustos.  Walking down to the tourist area we noticed a new street culture of sidewalk mural artists which seemed to have replaced the hordes of homeless youth and puppies that dominated the streets in past times.An interesting toy and hobby shop invited us in.There was a lot on neat shit, including remote helicopters with video cameras.a mischievous looking redheaded girl invited us to try out an odd looking "toy" with hand grips and 
electronic looking appendages. That looks like it hurts I joked. "Only if you loose"she softly responded .After explaining this device tested your reaction time having you press a button when the light color changes we agreed to try it out. I didn't appreciate the taser shock I got after loosing to Cuda by a fraction of a second, The punishing electrical zap actually fucking hurt.(though only for a milli-second)I think the sadistic little wench  turned up the voltage dial just for me. Ha Ha Ha
The highlight of our Victoria walk-about was
The Oyster and it's Buck a Shuck  happy hour specials.We were seated at the busy bar next to ice mounds covered with assorted mollusks. A wave of oyster lust overtook us as we greedily eyed the Little Wings in front of us.

 We ordered vodka martinis and quickly reduced the oyster population by 2 dozen before the happy hour ended and the prices per oyster shot back up to 3 bucks 
We turned our attention to sacks of mussels and clams next to the small stove to the right of the ice mounds.We had been enjoying the line cooks performing for us and turning out their bar appies like mini Iron Chefs.(Anthony Bourdain would  love this Place) Their sambuca cream and bacon  drenched mussels and clams were a no brainer. We accompanied our shellfish dual with a crisp fruity New Zealand Savignon Blanc ( Oyster Bay of course )Happy Happy Happy as Emeril would say
The waitress was very cute ( like my sweety) 
The service was very good
The tip was very large.
The Oyster Bar At
Pescadores in Victoria achieved the the gourmet holy trinity of great food, fantastic ambiance and superb service. We were "Winning "
A pit stop at Big Bad John's Hill-billy Bar at the Strathcona Hotel, and 2 of the most expensive shots of bar vodka that I've ever had completed our Pub crawl.The old hag barkeep failed to impress us with her crappy attitude and rude service." I need $17" she blurted out at us as she tossed the bill at our table.Cuda was not amused and snatched up the change from the $20 we gave "Swampy" the bartender.It was time to go back to our motel we had a big day ahead of us.
DAY 3
10:20 am Today we a hanging out waiting for the Main Event At 1pm. The Feast of Fields. This will be our 3rd Feast on the island and our expectations are high.Our room was suffering from trip fatique and needed attention
Yesterday was a full day of wineries, driving and starving.Cuda had decided that this was to be a "no picnic" trip and didn't bring a cooler for road snacks.We were in for a wine tasting marathon from 11am-4pm without lunch.We started our day off with a visit to the Duncan Farmer's Market. A cool wet morning was mellowed by strong coffee and hot tea.There were lots of overflowing vegetable stands but not as many food and craft stands as we expected.We bought some chantrelle mushrooms and beef jerky
an headed to our first winery Averell Creek. After purchasing some tasting tickets we enjoyed a flight of excellent reds, and left with a Foch and a bottle
of Bordeaux style mixed varietals.Off to 22 Oaks for free tastings of very mediocre wines and then on to our old favourites Goddwyn Brownell and Zanata. Things had changed. First at Goddwyn Brownell, everything was tired starting with the unkept vineyards and gardens as we drove in. This place used to remind us of a Tuscan Villa , now it  looked.... Neglected  As we approached the tasting area the owner wine-maker remembering us from previous visits came out and shook my hand and embraced Cuda like a long lost friend. Perhaps we reminded him of better times or he was hoping to feed off our energy.Overpriced tastings and uninspiring tapas offerrings added to our disappointment.A real crappy chardonnay ( the only free pour ) verged on plunk grade.His $5 pours
didn't hold a candle to the spectacular reds we had tasted here a few years ago. The owner had gotten old and tired, His cowboy field hand had gotten old and crippled( now walking with a limp ) and the winery dog looked like it was on its last legs . The golden age of this winery was over like an old wine with an amber disk past its prime and on the slippery road of decline. Oh well nothing stays the same. On to Zanata Wineries and a much anticipated lunch at the Bistro.
I really hate bolting out of a restaurant.The embarrassment, the indignation , the frustration of too many things gone wrong:, and finally the hasty exit." I'am sorry we want our bill we are leaving"
I curtly announced to the obviously overwhelmed waitress taking care of another party inside.
" I'am sorry" she blurted out, "I just had a table of 14, your foods on its way" "No" I said "we are leaving" and went back to our patio table. The bearded waiter who had previously ignored our pleas for service marched out to our table and confronted us with another blast of rudeness."
"So your out of here " he snarled. " No " I retorted
"We asked for the bill because of the poor service"
Not accepting the reality of another dissatisfied customer he continued with"Well here at Zanata we have a casual dining atmosphere" fighting a growing wave of nasty thoughts I ended our dialogue with 
"Bring us the bill" Earlier on in this painful dining experience we had the audacity to ask the bearded fuck for a bread plate after we had been sitting for 20 minutes watching him serve other patrons around us  ( bread plates included ), patrons that had arrived after us.He laughed at us and walked away
refusing to cover for the waitress who had obviously abandoned us. Our run-away waitress came back to our table and again tried to appease us (no comps offered )." No" I said " It's ok, it's not your fault but were leaving" She added a pathetic excuse to her list of offenses by trying to convince us that the bread comes with the main course after we seen otherwise. I shouldn't have felt sorry for her, the lying little bitch.The place was packed and the staff short. The waitress made sure she didn't jeopardize her tip with the table of 14. We were expendable.I understand. At least we left with some great wine from the tasting room, and someone got a free duck dinner.
Its now 11 am 2 hours to the Feast of Fields and the main event of our trip. I pray for a great culinary experience this afternoon. If I have another Zanata experience I might lose it.
Day 4
10:am Wined out and waiting at the ferry terminal to go home.An OK Feast of Fields yesterday
they don't seem to be as good as they were a few years ago.Not too many high end restaurants and losts of caterers and brew pubs.This event has drifted away from its roots as a vehicle to get urban
                 Tasty grilled Morels ( best treat of the Feast)
folk out the country to visit their cousin farmers and experience a true Feast of the Fields.There was no farm experience here at Marley Farms the venue of this years Feast , just a large wasp infested open field corralling a herd of wannabe food debutantes.Line ups at pizza and hot dog tents signaled that the caliber of attendees had gone south. This will be our last Feast of Fields.
Now lets add up the money. Ferries, motel, tickets,
restaurants,etc etc   Um...I see just over a thousand
hard earned smackeroos shelled out for this romp.It was fun but I think we could have gone to Mexico cheaper . Viva the $1000 Feast














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